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| I'd make a schedule and after a couple of days to a week, I'd all of a sudden stop following it all because the plan was too rigid. I also realized that up to this semester, my schedules have never been more flexible than the last. Taking all this into account, I went back to step one, analyzed the few things that would keep me occupied, but just like the thirty day trials from before, I've now found myself again trying to read manga, watch anime, read books, organize commitments, and draw, all at the same time. The virus happened once again!
I have to now find a more flexible, goal-orientated and long-run centered plan. Instead of finding several things to do in the short run, I just have to limit myself now to a couple of goals that will keep me focused towards the Fall Semester. Without this type of planning, I'm about ready to move back to square one.
Pitiful... Right?
I've written a couple of goals (when I say a couple, I mean a couple) down on a sheet of paper. On another sheet, I numbered and listed a to do list, which contains my commitments and small appointments for the following days. The goals help me stay focused while the to do list keeps me occupied.
Hopefully, this will get me on a clearer and on a right-er track. There needs to be little planning to make room for more spontaneity.
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| Tokyo looks so appealing in the new ABC show, "I Survived a Japanese Game Show". It makes me want to go there even more now. Which is why I do enjoy movies like "Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift".
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| I have probably defined what productivity meant to me before, though I still feel like I need to ask:
Am I expecting too much more than I should?
Am I planning much more than I'm doing?
Do I really have to be THAT productive?
In my four years of high school, I've tried to plan everything that I wanted to do. Planning so much, I would list about 20 different hobbies and actions that I forced myself to explore each day, writing them down on schedules. For example, my Google Calendar of the summer before Junior year, you would see that I would literally plan personal 8 hour days. After each week, I looked back noticing that for every 10 hours I planned, 9 hours were spent fretting about the action while 1 hour was spent actually doing it. What I dreamt was that I'd be enrolled into Ivy Leagues, and that I'd be the most literate person in the world. But what actually happened was rejection from all pre-med programs and Ivy Leagues, with my only choices being the state schools.
I had made myself such high expectations without motivational backing that I viewed every time frame as a time of horror. I planned to do it now... but I don't really want to do it... I don't even know how to start! I might as well not do it. What is productivity when you plan so rashly, yet never do it? I only had this false hope for a miracle that could only, and if at all, come out of my ass.
So what does productivity mean to me now? I've realized that I'm still in this rush to schedule my time. However, I find myself closer to the meaning. It's a balance: to become motivated first before blocking the time. When I see that each block is fulfilled consistently, I become more motivated, and the cycle continues successfully.
The week after vacation, all I was doing was watching television and internet surfing. And, I realized, I spent a week without being "productive", yet I'm not depressed or anxious about anything. I found out that I could spend my whole summer doing nothing, and nothing would happen. Though in the long run, I could use this time to explore my interests, and even if I end at least a little bit better than I did in the beginning of summer, I'd be happy knowing that I didn't have to plan so much of my way through it.
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| Yeah... So I'm on my minimalist schedule for I think the third day now. It consists of organizing stuff to do for AnimeNext.... chilling for almost the whole day... and then at 12:00 I start my sleep ritual... that is: 12:00 Read something for 30 minutes, 12:30 Get ready to sleep, and 1:00 Blog.
Yesterday I did the blog thing, and as you see, I don't think I really had much to say, which was good enough for me. I don't think it's worth writing a whole lot when it might tire you out and make you stop blogging in the future.
I read 54 chapters of a manga online, today, and I read some more of my book outside of the 12 AM routine. I watched television only pertaining to shows I really want to catch up on, and I tried to watch my diet. I think that's pretty cool. But the one thing is that I don't know what I'm going to be doing for the next two months!!! The deadline for the second half of summer session is coming. Will have to figure that out tomorrow.
Otherwise, I'm off.
Good night.
Andrew
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| Getting ready for AnimeNext... 2008... who's excited?!
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